Wheely's Epic Journey: Kanto Revealed
by One-wheel-wonder
Summary: Join Wheely as she journeys the messed up world of Pokemon.  Warning!  If you are offended by critisizm of pokemon, then don't click this, bub!  Rated for very naughty words.
1. The Epic and Awesome Prologue

**Author's Note: Yep, this is my pokemon journey. Well, I changed my name and stuff for obvious reasons. Anyway, it has come to my attention that some might be extremely offended by the contents of my story. If you're so sensitive about Pokemon, then you should not be reading this! You have been warned.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, nor will I ever own Pokemon.**

**Prolouge**

I'm just a normal kid. Well, that's a lie. My name is Wheely. Well, my real first name is too embarassing, but my last name is Wonder. Sounds stupid, huh? Wheely Wonder. I have such a funny name. Oh, yeah, this prologue crap. I live in a messed up world called the Pokemon world, in a messed up town called Pallet Town.

So today is my 16th birthday. If I lived in the real world, I'd get a car. Where I come from, they give kids an animal, a backpack, a computer, a bunch of balls, and tennis shoes. Then, they kick you out of the house to explore the whole fucking region. Some birthday.

"Lily! Get dressed!", my mom called, interrupting my awesome prologue. "Mom! Call me Wheely!", I yelled. Ohmygod! It's 9:00! I'm two hours late! Gotta run!

**Note: This story should be rated R for retarded lol**

**-Wheely**


	2. My New Friend Asshole

**Author's Note: Chapter two is out! Reviews would be appreciated. NO FLAMES, PLEASE! Anyways, here is chapter 2!**

At the moment, I'm running through Pallat Town at high speed with a piece of toast sticking out of my mouth. Like I said before, some birthday. After what seemed like an hour of running. I reached the door of the Lab. Okay, you can do this, I thought to myself. I pushed open the lab door. "", I blurted.

Professer Oak stood up and said, "Hello there! Glad to meet you!". I was confused. "Um, you've known me for 16 years", I told him. "Welcome to the world of Pokemon!", he said cheerfully. I was kind of freaked out now. "I've always lived in the world of Pokemon, but thanks for the greeting",I said unsurly. "My name is Oak. People affectionally refer to me as the pokemon professer.", he stated. Screw being freaked out. I'm fuckin terrified. "First of all, I already know your name and second, we call you professer because you are a professer", I said in a low voice. "This world...is inhabited far and wide by creatures known as Pokemon.", Oak said. Now I was getting pissed off. "Pokemon have ALWAYS lived here. What is your problem?", I growled. "For some people, Pokemon are pets. Others use them for battling. As for myself, I study Pokemon as a profession.", Oak stated with a smile. I was fuming now. "What is you're problem, you psychotic old man?", I yelled. A creepy smile grew across Oak's face. "But first, tell me a little bit about yourself.", Oak said. _Maybe he was just joking before_, I thought to myself. "Okay. Whadda you wanna know?", I asked. Oak's face turned very serious. " ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?", Oak asked loudly. "WHAT THE FUCK, MAN! LOOK AT ME! I'M OBVIOUSLY A GIRL!", I shrieked. "Let's begin with your name. What is it?",Oak asked. "My name is Wheely. Now give me one of those freak show animals and let me get outta here!", I roared, poking his chest. "Right..so your name is Wheely?", he said slyly. "I just told you that.", I mumbled.

Just then, a guy with a spikey hairdo and a piece of toilet paper on his shoe walked out of the bathroom. "This is my grandson. He's been your rival since you were babies.", Oak pointed to the guy. "Wait, you said that you haven't met me, yet you know that I've been your grandson's rival since we were infants. That makes no sense!", I yelled. "..Erm, what was his name now?", Oak rubbed his chin. _Hey, maybe I can take advantage of these weirdos_, I thought. "His name is Asshole", I answered, stifling a giggle. "..Er, was it Asshole?", Oak asked me. "Yep", I responded. "Hey! My name is not Asshole!", yelled Oak's grandson. "That's right! I remember now! His name is Asshole!", Oak yelled. I couldn't help myself. I burst out laughing. "Wheely!", Oak said. "Your very own legend is about to unfold! A world of dreams and adventures with Pokemon awaits! Let's go!", Oak exclaimed, skipping towards a table in the corner. I walked up to Asshole and said, "Your Grandpa is crazy!". Asshole sighed. "I know", he mumbled. We walked over to the table where Oak was standing.

"As part of our multi-regional starter Pokemon exchange, your three choices are Treeko, Tepig, and Piplup.", Oak said, releasing the three pokemon. They all looked retarded."Got anything else?", I asked the nutty professer. "well, I did come across one, uum, 'special one'", Oak muttered, taking out a blue and orange pokeball. He opened it up, and a little blue pokemon with spikey orange cheeks popped out. "This is Mudkip", Professer Oak introduced. "Hi cutie!", I cooed to the little creature. "You're a cutie, too!", the creature responded. "AAAAAACCCCKKK!", I screamed. "H-h-how can it talk?", I sputtered, backing up against the wall. "Radiation", Oak said. "Weird, but cool. I'll take him", I said, picking up the Mudkip. "Would you like to nickname him?", Oak asked, handing me the odd Pokeball. "Uum..", I looked at the blue pokemon in my hands. "I'll call him Steve", I replied confidently. "Here is your trainer card", Oak said, handing me a card with all of my personal information. "Hey! How do you know my cup size?", I shrieked. "I have my ways", Oak said, a perverted smile stretching across his face. "Uum..I'll be leaving now", I said backing up until I reached the door. Then, I bolted out the door. When I stopped to take a breather, I heard a voice from behind me.

"Hey, stop!"

**Ooh! Cliffhanger! Reviews are appreciated, please. Thanks for reading!**

**-Wheely**


End file.
